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Legal status on marijuana in Canada.

07.16.04 (4:47 am) [edit]

what is it....

i <3 river cuomo. but not as much as those stupid mofo obsessed freaks..that don't really have a life so they obsess over celebrities they won't ever meet...and yet they still believe it's possible. naive shitholes.>

thirst

07.08.04 (8:30 pm) [edit]

i'm so thirsty. i'm gonna go downstairs to get a soda soon. haha it's 12:30 in the morning!
let me list the people i have to meet at warped tour

1) jill and her friends
2) shanannagan and vania
3) possibly bri's friends
4) ....NOT TANYA AND LAUREN

=)

that's all for today folks

if i wanted pink socks, i would go out and buy them.

07.03.04 (8:37 am) [edit]

haha this is funny...everytime it gets to a new page it flashes white before it gets there. like the page is almost done, it flashes white, it's done!
lol you guys must think i'm a total stoner!
oh well.
whoa! i haven't updated in sooo long! and i update my livejournal almost everyday! that's so weird...
so i decided to update this.

hmmmm

bri and kristi left me. jacob and kel ditched me.
i need to call mary.

uhhhhhhh
gruber's weird....
too romantic. not for me. not at all.

i finally washed my clothes! can you say YES!

but i swear, vanessa is REALLY stupid. she doesn't know how to wash/dry clothes.
she put MY whites in with towels. which is the worst thing you can do in the dryer because the towel colors come off easily. so now i have like a ton of pink socks.
i bet most of you are just like, get over it. it's no big deal.
but you know what? IF I WANTED PINK SOCKS, I'D GO OUT AND FUCKING BUY THEM! okay?
anyway!
god..gr...

and dunleavy is such a bitch lol.
she was all nontalkative and her away message was "blah blah something's going on i feel really bad i wanna think about it leave me alone"
so i go: :-P then why are you online anyways!
and she got all pissy with me.
i thought it was funny. she's a bitch. i hope she knows it hehe.

dad's making me call mary now so i suppose i will.

catching up

06.22.04 (7:33 am) [edit]

wow i haven't posted in a while.
if anyone wants to catchup just go to my livejournal thing.....

which is...
i duno. okay. i'll find out just for you.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/burntlimbs/" title="http://www.livejournal.com/users/burntlimbs/" target="_blank"http://www.livejournal.com/us...

okay. i found out just for you.
sooooooooooooo
let me fill you in.

school is out. yay yay yay!
but now that we're done with the learning thing...we start with the work your ass off for money so you can do stuff thing..
so this is the first week i have without school. i just started art classes at this college of art and desing nearby. it rocks. i found some cool people. the teacher, mr. blue, is awesome.
i'm probably the most unique person in the entire class. i swear to you-i am.
and at the first class when we did the critiques of other peoples work mine was first chosen as the best. but there is no best because everyone has their own style that can't be competed with anyone elses' and all that.
i rock. yes i do. i totally do. BAD ASS!

um so...when i was at those classes-the coast to coast roast started! damn damn damn i wanted to be there so badly. so did bri.
mickey, jamie, mary, pat, and jake went. along with mickey's friends and probably some parental supervision.
i haven't gotten news on it yet. well kinda. but the only news i've gotten was that "it rocked" from mary. i needa call jake and see if he's in the hospital or something haha. that would be so funny....

uhhhhh
last night i went to see dodgeball. it rocked! it totally rocked. i loved it. it kept me laughing-it really did.

i should probably get back to work now.
i have to buy my ESP F-50 ELECTRIC GUIIIITAR!
if anyone has one-please tell me if it's good. critique it if you will.

anyway. i want a wrap, bri. i miss the wraps. so yummy. i might go over to bri's after art class on wedneserday. okay, i will.
WRAP HERE I COME!
lol.

well i'm gonna go now..talk to peoples...

CHECK OUT MY LIVE JOURNAL!

guitars

06.07.04 (6:34 pm) [edit]

ibanez or squier?

a lot of my friends have squiers and say they're really good because they have fender pick ups and stuff

but ibanez is supposed to rock ass

WHICH ONE, PEOPLE?! HELP ME OUT...QUICK

weekend

06.06.04 (6:23 pm) [edit]

this weekend was pretty cool
despite the fact that i got sick..and mom's being a bitch...
on friday i fell asleep.
on saturday i worked some then went to kristi's to watch terror toons which we only saw like half of because no one is as twisted as i am.
i felt let down-seriously. i thought at least bri would enjoy it as much as i did and she didn't! so i was like..hey...what's goin on man
oh well.
so i hung out for a while then dad came and hung out and we were all planning schemes to make someone combust while on the toilet
yeah, dad was helping
david was like-you're cool though so it's okay if we tell you this
i duno if my dad is trying to be cool or he just is
i don't really notice it
he's my dad...
and then today
i did homework and crap
and went to jake's graduation party
hung out alone
sometimes with pat
then mary came and we hung out the rest of the time
mickey was there
he's the greatest
people remembered my name! i was so surprised. like seriously, people never remember my name. they keep asking me and it's so uncool...
but they remembered!
and mickey said that me and mary looked like twins
pat was like, but bianca's the better lookin half
hahaha
that was awesome. gotta love pat.

they jumped in the jordan river! haha
pat smelled kinda bad..
he was soaked
i swear

so we went in the closet and found phantom flames and other fire works
then i took some and dad was like, hide them-put them in your pocket.
and i was like...ookay....
and we went out and i hugged everyone-they probably thought i was so weird because i just met all of them today.
except pat and donald..and mickey and mary
but the rest yeah

so we lit some fireworks
awesome
hahha
jake lives right next to a church!
haha
ohhhh yeah
i saw eduardo when we were hanging near the jordan river
(it's not really the jordan river)
it was weird...
haha i'm jumping like everywhere and now i'm kinda confused

i have a sore throat
i'm developing a cold
i think it's because i shared water with david
never doing that again
that weird virus infested dude!

oh yeah so then i left
and me and dad went to giant
to buy pie crusts
for mom
and he was like, tell your parents when you light those fireworks

that totally caught me offguard!
he's my dad
what is he doing saying "tell you parents blah blah blah"

i duno
maybe it's because i'm so sick and out of it
that everyone seems 20 times worse than it is
or could be

i still have to bring up my grades

and do my book report
DAMMIT
damn it

to fuckin hell

i'm gonna go brush my teeth and crash now

god this fucking sucks

dammit

06.05.04 (5:31 am) [edit]

i am not in a good mood today. not a good mood at all.
i'm probably not gonna get to see bri because she always flakes on me-no offense, bri. but you do...
and i need to go band shirt shopping because my shirts are dissappearing and it's really freaky! but unless you all want me to go nude from now on, i need to go band shirt shopping asap!
...damn you who want me to go nude.
anyway...
and i wanna see harry pothead with bri
and other people?

kristi is totally deserting us!
at least me.

david's such a crap hole. i swear! he's really mean.

i need a new guitar case which my dad doesn't want to buy me for some reason...and he owes me one because his girlfriend has rabbits who chewed on it and he says it's my fault for leaving it where the rabbits can get it.

god i hate that. if a dog chewed on them i suppose it would be the rabbits fault for being there?
why don't we try this.

so i must call bri soon but it's 9:30 am so i doubt she's awake.

i needa do homework because i have a D+ in science.
yeah, i'm very dissapointed in myself.
i'm not kidding either.

and i fell asleep in my clothes for the 9th time

no more pjs...

i'm a little hungry

no one's IMing me

my friends are always out having fun now and i'm locked in...why? because they don't invite me! and when they do i have other plans but the other plans never happen because bri flakes!

DAMMIT

yeah, i'm really pissed, if you can't tell.

and there's bad music on the radio.

nothing to eat.

steven's not talking to me.

no one talk to me about him anymore unless i bring up conversation-it's annoying.

especially manny, asking about everything!

grrrrrrr

i only have $62.

god dammit...

pills for dinner

06.01.04 (6:02 pm) [edit]

today was a good day till i got home
steven doesn't like me
and i was so pissed about it
it was really unfair of me though
because i got what he was saying
we've known eachother for 3 days-how can we like eachother? i'm just psycho.
but everything really got to me and i got pissed
so i took advil
because my muscles ached
and i duno
my tummy
yeah
and i took 1..2...3....4...5
and then i was happy
for 20 min
but then it wore off
and my illusion of being high was gone
so i took another 5
so that's 10
it says take 1 every 4-6 hours
yeah....
i took enough for like more than two days
and now i'm not feeling high
but i can change that
okay
changed
it's all in the mind man
if i feel like i'm high
in my mind
and i take medicine
i can be high
and it's really cool

because it's all in your mind..
alllll in your mind.................

but steven doesn't like druggies. i have to stop.
it's not like i really am a druggie..
god i think he already thinks i'm one because i carry advil everywhere

yeah i called him tonight
after i took 5
i was happy
i was high
it was an illusion, dammit!
he kept asking if i was okay
of course i said yeah. how could i not be?

i'm jealous
of everything
everyone
i'm going insane

i can't take any more pills
i promised i wouldn't
i'm gonna go to sleep

who the hell has pills for dinner?

party hard

05.31.04 (7:17 pm) [edit]

this weekend totally rocked
best ever
best yet
i'm so fucking hyped!

on friday bri was supposed to come over to watch terror toons-didn't happen. sucked. i was so disappointed! i swear! but oh well

on saturday i forgot what i did all day..i think i just like..lied around doing nothing. then it was mary's bday gathering. it was kinda like a party but not.
jake, patrick, and i went together...mary, beth, and strick(steven) were already there..and erik came later

jake is like my cousin. my dad's gf's sister's ex stepson. lol. or my dad's friend's kid. whichever works easier. i've known him for...7 years or so. long time.

patrick is this dude i met on saturday. really nice. a little overweight. blonde. cute face. really funny. he sings big pa pa like a pro! hahaha. and he's getting his liscence really soon. so he promises to drive us to mary's all the time!

mary-did i tell you about mary? she is pretty much the coolest chick i've ever met. probably because she is a LOT like me. but less sick and twisted. maybe? she's greek and that like fuckin rocks! her aunt penny is the greatest. her mom is really cool too.
her house is fucking pimping! it's really really big and i got lost in it lol.

beth is kinda jake's gf. but jake is a pimp-for sure! beth used to go out with mike-this really really really really hot guy. but he dumped her for some reason..i duno, she's not that pretty in my book. but she makes out with jake all the damned time and it's ugh!
oh well, jake's jake..urgh

strick/steven is so awesome. we dig eachother...a lot! lol. i duno what's up with us. we flirt all the time(i met him on saturday and it's monday lol) and today we were all over eachother! i'll give ya more about that later.
he's mary's drummer for her awesome band. he plays really well-i can tell. better than jake of course! but when i saw him play it was on his electric set and it's weird...

erik is really hot. but murderous and he has anger management issues. yeah...he had this knife and stuff...whoa man.

so on saturday when i got there we hung out and listened to mary and strick jam then we all sat in a circle playing jenga, truth or dare!! then erik came. and we played for a while but it got boring so we played twister! then that got boring because jake kept pushing us down..so we went to get pizza.
the pizza took so fucking long. this new dude anthony was there and he was like high..so he cut all these pizzas the wrong way and since it was mary's birthday and all..and she knows lots of people who work there, she got a discount and 3 free pizzas!
in the parking lot we were getting high off pepsi bottles
and this mexican dude pulled up with a cell phone
and it looked like a gun
and he was staring at us
and strick started freaking out! then i started freaking out. he kept being like "hey man, i don't wanna get arrested!" so now it's like a joke between everyone. i have it in my profile hahaha.
so we got the pizzas and walked back to the shopping center parking lot. erik started yelling at jake to get in a shopping cart hahahaha! so he did..because of the anger management issues..and it was soo fuckin hilarious. then jake hit the hood of a car and there was this dude in it! LMAO!! the dude got out and started cursing at him lol. wow, that was funny. then we went around the video place and subway. mary got some free cookies from subway and we saw these seniors at the video place and we gave them one of our free pizzas...and they were like, if you ever need fake ids come to us!
they were so lying..
we walked back to mary's and got the fireworks out
we weren't allowed to light them. grrr....
so we just went back inside to talk and stuff
i was next to strick
we were close
i thought he was really cute
i still do.
we left early. strick slept over at mary's because he felt wasted lol.

i was jealous. i wanted to sleep over!
we talked online a lot.
and on sunday.
a lot.
i started renovating my room on sunday, it sucked.
then we watched that..master and commander thing. it was so weird!
strick and i were flirting. a LOT. online. and we told eachother that we loved eachother haha. no big deal for me-i love everyone pretty much!

so i went to bed on my really messy bed that was in a corner...in my clothes...i smelled kinda bad hahahaha
and today i woke up early to try to get the renovation done before 3
we did
it worked
my room is really awesome now
we're gonna paint it over the summer
and then put skulls and posters everywhere hahahha
it's gonna be the best hangout ever!

then i took a showa in like..i duno how many minutes. three songs on the radio though. in the middle of the third i got out. i was in such a rush because i really wanted to get to mary's quick. then i started getting pissed because dad was like..haha good luck getting there by four and stuff.
well i got there a little after four and we picked up jake then went to mary's pimpin crib

yeah man, fuckin pimpin!
and steve/strick was already there so we hung out a little then went to mickey dees and the movie place
and rite aid! i told steven to buy condoms lol
luckily he got the joke
we bought dream catcher
then we went back to mary's and got it all plugged in and watched
by then steven and i were alllll over eachother
holding hands, arms around eachother, lying on eachother. haha.
the movie sucked after the alien part
it was a total let down
then steven's ride came!

a fucking hummer h2. it fucking rocks. so he kinda left..to get his drumset...
and we were talking-me mary and jake and they were like-dude he's not gone yet go get him
so i did
and we talked for like 5 seconds
about his ride
and me sleeping in it
then we just stopped
and he was looking around
holding his set
and i was silently laughing..very hard because it was so expected
and i went up to him and kissed him
and we made out
for a little while
and he's pretty good!!!
he's a little taller than me-it worked out well
but i kinda wish he wasn't holding his drum set
i was almost gonna stop and pull him on the couch next to us
next time i totally will haha

but instead i stopped and said i wanted to watch the movie..and he was like cool.
i mean at least we kissed-right?
but i was just so psyched on the inside
i didn't know if i could deal with it lol
haha i'm so horny right now!

but yeah
i got a guy
i made out
this weekend rocked

but mary's all not so in the moodish
and i'm all why..
but she's not on anymore
i gotta call her
see what's up

but i'm not going out with steven yet...
yet!
we made out, we cuddled
snuggled
wtfever

but right now i am so fucking psyched! so it doesn't even matter
we'll go out soon
i know it lol

i'm gonna stop this before i get too insane haha

update

05.28.04 (2:28 pm) [edit]

i am now totally retro, from my glasses to my clothes. retro is in-dogg.
i clipped my nails just now. they get in the way when i'm playing guitar. just taught myself that egyptian riff in "come out and play" by offspring. awesome!
and i wanted to paint them blue, but i didn't wanna get paint out so i just took a blue marker and drew on them.
haha is that dope or what?
i'm so stoked for this weekend. it's gonna rock mofo ass!
tomorrow i'm gonna try to look "hot" because i'm going to mary's bday "gathering." yeah..gathering. partay!!!
and she says there are gonna be a lot of hot guys there that i could totally hook up with and she mentioned my name to one lol.
so we're gonna do that. i have to get there early because i'm helping set up some games. bringing twister(kinky!!!) and truth or dare jenga.
we're finally gonna write twisted truth or dares on the white blocks.
:D
like i've been wanting to do...
and then we're gonna rent movies and stuff.
the uh oh oreo is comin'!!!! mike of course. i wanna bring a camera so i can take pix of my hot friends lol.
i'll think on it i guess
all my friends want pix because they're so jealous that i'm exposed to this hotness, hahaha.

and then on sunday i'm probably gonna go to the movies with dominic and mary, hopefully.
we're gonna see soul plane!
with our homie snoop dogg!

i called bri a couple min ago and said "hey homie" and she said "yeah homie, sup?"
lol punks are so ghetto!

and i called joey like 5 times earlier. we got to talk for 40 whole seconds! ohmgg!
he sounds really hot now-i haven't called him in 2 years. and i was bugging him about it yesterday so he gave in and now he's hard pressed for me to call him.
freak!

ugh i hate cicadas. i love them but i hate them and they're weird!
at the bus load we were messin around outside and i picked up this cicada and i don't really pick them up right so it disturbs them and they're all flying all over the place-therefore i will never pick one up again in my entire life...
but anyway!
so i dropped it but it flew
towards me
and then i was running around
and i made a sharp turn
and it followed me!
blind my motherfucking ass!
lol. but it was really scary. and then my friend picked one up at the drop off and mikki and i thought that she threw it at us but that was a different one and we were running and screaming and ducking.
but we figured out nat didn't throw it..but then she did and it flew a little then dropped on its back and i was so fuckin scared i spit my mint out at it and it broke..and i was like..damn.
but i was screaming so fucking loud-it was awesome.

i called bri and mary
nat and mikki came over
bri and mary get along really well
a lot in common
i went to the bathroom when they were on the phone lol

i keep poking myself with saftey pins..
aren't these supposed to be safe?!?!

well i must go try to plan tonight
bri's coming over to watch terror toons and jam
possibly
so i gotta find out when the movie place closes
so i can get there quick
i might take a nap before 9

hopefully i get to talk to dominic today
i feel kind of like i'm bugging him
so mary says to not go overboard
and i'm trying not to!
so i'll wait like an hour after he signs on to talk to him lol
i duno
whatever, i'll think of something

au revoir

HFStival

05.23.04 (10:24 am) [edit]

the festival rocked ass. it was beast.
i am so psyched for HFSmas Nutcracker!
well the day started off with..
me waking up at 7 or so and not wanting to go back to bed sleep so i stayed up and took a showa then waited for dad to get up and take me...he was late.
we got to jake's by about 10
then michael came
then cal
and mary
and we hung out a little
dad gave me 20
which made it...114 or so
and we went out
the drive wasn't that long
when we got there we had to pay $15 just to park...and we parked on the grass next to these really wasted people
and we went in
and we saw taking back sunday at the street stage
so awesome
my first mosh pit
yeah-i know
mary disappeared and michael and i just stuck together in the pit
jake went crowd surfing about 3 times..in THAT pit
they dropped him..lol so funny
it was concrete too
so i bet it hurt
the mainstage was on a field
and people were moshing-actual moshing
and we pushed jakey in the mosh fight thing goin on
and he fell
that was so funny
and we got outta that
got some refreshments
went across the field to the rides
went on a ride
walked around
went to the local stage
saw Aphile
pretty good
met shannon there
surprisingly!
got some more to eat

went back to the mainstage to see lostprophets
met up with mary's friends
mike and..the other dude...
moshed with them to...after lost prophets
papa roach i think
papa roach is awesome
utterly awesome
and the other dude kept staring at me
i just figured out that he was checkin me out
because jakey said so
he was kinda cute too
not as cute as mike though
but some ass bumped into me when he was moshing...like he almost knocked me over
and i was suffocating
so i had to get out
and i met the other dude and michael outside
the mike came and was all..hey lets go back in and find mary and jake
so we did that
but we couldn't find them
and when we did that...we were just moshin along
and this dude offered me pot
and i was soooooooo flattered
i would've said yes
the only reason i didn't was because everyone kept saying cal could sniff ya out
and if he caught us doing anything he'd make us get outta there
right then
so i politely declined
and he just shrugged
it is so not true that people keep pressuring you into drugs!
usually, if they do it, they'll tell you not to
and if some random person offers you some-he's just a friendly druggie
(gotta love those friendly druggies)
and most likely they'll just shrug or say whatever if you say no
because they're not gonna pressure you!
THEY WANT IT ALL FOR THEMSELVES!
you know that..
if you're not gonna have any, more for me
yeah. that's about it.
so we got back out and met up with jake and mary
but the other dude had to go
so it was just me and mike
god he's so hot
mary likes him
but he doesn't like her
so...
yeah
we sat up there and went back down for the violent femmes
because i love them so much
but they suck in concert
so it was really disappointing
and we went back up, waited for POD
they rocked
then jayz was on or something
he was all..not so cool...
and i was all not enjoying it
mike left before that though
and then before the offspring came on
i pretended to go to the bathroom with mary
but i went to buy some shirts instead
we circled the entire stadium
and finally found the place selling them
and i only spent $24 bucks the entire time!
i have $90 right now
i wanted to spend it all
boo hoo...
no, but seriously
it sucked that i only spent 24
and then the offspring came on
wait wait
during jayz, this dude in the middle of the field had this giant (white) dick balloon
and it was soooo funny
i thought
they'd
comment
on
it
but
they
didn't
and
it
was
dissa
pointing

so the offspring rocked-i wish i could've been in the pit then
screaming out lyrics and jumping around
they were the absolute best
the dude came out with a water gun
and dexter was like..hey man, that's not enough
they need a hose down
so he got out this fire hose
and hosed everyone down
in the pit
and i was so jealous
i bet shannon was in the pit for that
grrrrrrr
so angry right now
and then we left
good points:
the thing itself
the dude checking me out
the offering of the pot

HFStival

05.23.04 (10:19 am) [edit]

subject my ass

05.17.04 (6:23 pm) [edit]

i'm missin your bed
i never sleep
avoiding the spots
where we'd have to speak
and this bottle of beast is taking me home

today sucked.
too many classes, too much homework, too much contraversy
god i hate it.
i had track too-which isn't so bad, i guess...

as for now i'm gonna hear the saddest songs
and sit alone and wonder how you're making out
and as for me i wish that i was anywhere with anyone!
making out

i'm missin your laugh, how did it break
and when did your eyes begin to look fake?
i hope you're as happy as you're pretending

i'm cuddlin close
to blankets and sheets
and i am alone in my defeat
i wish i knew you were safely at home

lots of running in track
you know...i mean it is track..i guess

your hair
it's everywhere
screaming infidelities
and taking it's wear
your hair it's everywhereeeee
screaming infidelities
and taking it's wear
your hair
it's everywhere
screaming infidelities..
and taking it's wear
your hair is everywhere
screaming infidelities
and taking it's wear...

god, depressed people suck
they're all depressed
and not fun
and not cool
and not awesome to be around
just boring
depressed
worthless
humans
if they wanna kill themselves so much, why can't they just get it over with?
almost none of them have the balls
i wish they did have the balls
the world would be a much better place

mean people also suck
like david
i duno if he was joking or not
but i IMed him and he was all
hey you know there's this girl who pisses the hell out of me
her name is bianca, or something
do you know her?
she's a fag

and i was all..
uh....
...........
i'm not sure....
probably not...

then he goes
you're her, aren't you

and i go
yeah...

and then we stopped talking because he's such an ass

don't you hate people like that? they're such fucks
they should be depressed and suicidal too
maybe they'd even have the balls to get it over with

people were mean at track too
saying that my friends shouldn't have even joined because they don't know how to run
those people are also asses
and i wanna tell them
but i only told three
and they were all angry and freaked out
and i was all
what the hell am i doing

but i did it anyway, stupid me..
and i also ran a mile this morning
so i wasn't up to par
surprisingly
we were supposed to lift weights today
but we didn't

em's pretty much skipping it
she signed up
never went
in this drama production
that's so stupid
what's better, being a fatass that fixes lights?
or getting in shape?
yeah. think about it.
sorry em.

jerry's also a fatass. and i don't know why she gets so offended
i used to be a fatass too
i still kind of am
but at least i don't get 30s on the pacer
and 15s on the mile
and i'm proud of myself
and she's a fatass
who doesn't have the right priorities

i swear, they don't care about clogged arteries or anything
and their neck fat will probably suffocate them in the next year

ugh-obese people
i'm gonna have to help mom work out
after she has the kid
and this time-i really will
because i feel fat
i can't even fit in my size 7 jeans
how fucked is that?

i used to be almost anorexic
and i lost a LOT of weight
but now i'm hungry all the time
if not for junk food, then just any food in general
and if not for food, something else
i need fulfillment in my stomach
thank you very much

maybe if we all had my mind-or some part of it
the world would be a healthier place

set your priorities, people!

don't get clogged arteries because you wanna pretend to be things you're not on stage
or be a lazy couch potato
or just be an asshole

and bri
she's all pissed because people call her fat
she can get rid of it
i duno why she's so hurt
and she says i'm conforming for joining track

well sorry i'm not a lazy fatass like you
and i'd rather get in shape
so i don't really mind conforming
if i'm conforming with people who want to get in fucking shape
god, asswipes

but most of the people in track are skinny asses showing off
i don't understand it
it's stupid
they should become depressed and suicidal and die

i hope that every suicidal person sees this

they have no right to live if they don't want to

die.

do you like the new format i put my entries in?
i think it's sort of poetic
don't you?

hey look, i'm a poet and i didn't even realize i had the ability to be so creative!

haha, i rock.

well i think i'm done for now.

everything is starting to piss me off
or
"piss the hell out of me"
as david likes to say

so pardon me
while i burst into flames
i've had enough of the world
and its peoples' mindless games
so pardon me while i burn
and rise above the flame
pardon me, pardon me
i'll never be the same...

how it's been

05.15.04 (7:12 pm) [edit]

it hasn't been so well. whatever "it" is.
i got into a fight with daniel. he was high and didn't give me any and i was angry so i called him a fatass and he said i was fatter and it hurt. he finally got really pissed because i was so hurt by it and gave in, and i'm not angry with him anymore. for that. but still...
it's been going pretty well till yesterday afternoon.
i skipped er homeroom to hang out with the "punks"
i lied to mr. smith about why i was even there, he believed me.
i don't even give a damn if i get in trouble.
first i went to melissa's homeroom but administrators were coming so i ran outta there and went to my locker...and i saw ms little in the hallway and was all, whoa! i could hang out with her. ms little=art teacher.
so i asked her if i could and she said yeah and it was all good.
but everyone poked me.
they all poked me...
donald poked me right in the belly button..then micaela poked me..and paige tried to tickle me..and shannon poked me and messed up my hair..then daniel poked me on both sides really hard!
i still like him. even if he's a real pain in the ass.
everyone made fun of him because his hair's green. i didn't feel bad for him-it didn't really affect him.
i had a dream about them last night.
it was a re-occuring dream. a lot of the parts i remembered. some were new.
i don't wanna talk about it.
daniel also asked me if i was angry with him...and i said yeah...yet he still smiled and said hi to me in the hallway afterwards. freak...
then when i got online afterschool he got all suicidal and told me to call him..and then told me to not call him when i dialed half his number...and it was so stupid and i wanna kill him and assist him and dispose of his misery.
so that pissed me off.
then vanessa picked me up and let out info of her probably moving in with my dad.
i knew of course, because my bestest buddy jakey warned me ahead of time. thank jeebuz.
so i wasn't surprised. but first she said "i'm probably going to give you my queen size bed"
and it got me thinking...when people move, why do they give stuff to me? why do they tell me as if i'd want it? why can't they ask first? the bed i have now i got from aunt laurice and uncle tony...i wanted that one though. it is sooo comfy. i love it.
so what if it's a full? who cares? it has to be a lot comfier than vanessa's queen....
size doesn't matter. it's quality. lmao. ain't that the truth...
and then i was talking about my friend eating cicadas and she automatically assumed it was a girl...i was like..wtf..why would one of my girlie chick friends eat a cicada? and why did she have to say "she," why couldn't she have said "they" or something. ass wipe...
and she keeps talking to me about her rabbits and about pet therapy-as if i give a damn about it. which i obviously don't....and i duno wtf to do so i just nod and smile...like they tell me to..
enough about her..
the cicadas are EVERYWHERE
i hate them. they are such freaky things! i liked them for about two days and then it all stopped.
the worst thing is-they haven't grown full size yet..and i can't step on them with chucks.
chucks are very very thin and i could feel their guts explode. that's the only reason why i wouldn't.
emily is a craphole and says she'll mess up her shoes. as if it even matters. they're fucking shoes for cryin out loud. and hers are already messed up.
bri ditched me again
she keeps doing this, and it keeps pissing me off 100 times more than before. why does she do it?!?!?!? jeebuz christ. tonight we were supposed to watch terror toons together but she "forgot" that her parents were going out for dinner and she had to watch her siblings. ugh! stupidity.
this is the last time i'm gonna depend on her. ever.
she is very unreliable. she rarely does what she is supposed to. i love her death, but she is such a bitch about these things.
i'm done writing...

getting to know people for nothing

05.09.04 (3:04 pm) [edit]

i met daniel on friday. we were hanging out alone a lot that day. we got to know eachother semi-well. on saturday we spoke to eachother online all day. got to know eachother even better.
today he came over again. we could pretty much be best friends now. it's amazing how you can know someone so much in so little time. 3 whole days. i've known him for 3 days.
of course-that's not saying that he couldn't be keeping secrets from me or anything. he could very well be. but it doesn't matter. it's not like we're gonna get married or anything.
on the other hand, i've known his girlfriend-paige-for a couple of weeks now. she waves at me in the hallways, she smiles and says hi, but she has no idea what my name is. personally-i think it's kind of rude. i know her name. i know her friend's names. and she keeps saying "oh, haha, i don't know your name!" or "whoops, i forgot your name!" people have stopped even trying to teach her.
now i don't know if she's trying to be rude and distant, or if that's just the way she is.
she seems like a whore to me. always going out with someone. not even that pretty. but oh well-i'm not gonna say anything about people's choices. even though nowadays it's like their thoughts are brutally impaired.
or not even theirs.

so pardon me while i burst into flames
i've had enough of the world and its peoples' mindless games
so pardon me while i burst and rise above the flame
pardon me, pardon me, i'll never be the same...

that's pretty much inspired me forever.
i mean..look at my blog name.."and they all spontaneously combusted.."
am i a pyro? no..but i'd rather combust than live on this unreal earth. with its stupid, unreal people.
i can barely have coherent thoughts anymore. it's all too unreal.
people say don't waste your youth. but what does it matter if you've wasted your life?
the human race is going to die out-soon. no more of us.
science is all that's left.
religion is slowly being banished.
there is no future for us.
our lives are utterly pointless.
yet we keep on living.
who knows what will come of the next generation?
perhaps nothing.
and it's all too stupid to think about.
some would say depressing.
but no, it's completely stupid.
and all those adults stuffing lies into our minds...
what for?
nothing...
the result comes to nothing...
it doesn't matter.
what does?
nothing...
that's the golden answer everyone.
nothing, dammit. nothing.

i'm tired of this.

another one

05.08.04 (2:03 pm) [edit]

1. Full name?: no..

2. Ruff Ryders or Flip Mode Squad?: ....

3. hehe

4. What color underwear do you have on right now: pink

5. What song are you listening to now?: gine again-seether

6. What was the last thing that you did?: took a survey

7. What is right next to you?: stuff

8. What is your computer desk made of?: crapness

9. Who was the last person you ate out with?: i don't know

11. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?: charcoal grey

12. Where do you want to go on your honeymoon?: a hut on the beach..next to a field..full of grassyness

13. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with?: bo. of course.

14. Do you have a lava lamp?: hey..i want one..must get lava lamp. must get many lava lamps. must fill my room with them...

15. How many buddies do you have on your list?: a lots? 178

16. How's the weather right now?: very bright. sunnyness. windy

17. Have you ever smoked pot?: heh

18. What color are your sheets?: plaidness

19. Last person that you talked to on the phone?: dad

20. Are you a commie-nazi?: no. i could get all..what's it called..

21. Who do you most admire?: no one!

23. Do you like the person that sent this to you?: no one really sent it to me..

24. What is your dream pet?: gooeyness

25. How do you eat an Oreo?: i stuff it all into my mouth and then down it with milk

26. Fave M&M: yellow. he's so awesome.

27. Dream Car?: hummmmmer..nah..a bus. yes. a frikkin bus.

28. Favorite Day of the week?: who cares

29. Perfect Date?: amusement parkness

30. ------------------

31. Eye Color?: brownish greenish sometimes

32. Hair color?: brownish blackishness

33. Height?: 5'6" ish

34. Do you wear contacts?: no. i wish...dammit

35. Do you have braces?: yeah

37. --------------

39. If you could change one thing about you, what would it be?: bup de dup. tallerness. yeah. definately.

40. What was the best advice ever given to you and from whom?: don't anger mad people

41. Dream Girl/Guy?: johnny depp..or chris

42. Have you ever won any special awards? i forgot..i guess not then..

44. Favorite food?: saladness

45. Fave movie?: nightmare before christmas

46. Fave day of year?: my unbirthday. which is every day except dec 6.

47. Fave month?: juneish julyish

48. Fave girls perfume?: what the fuck

49. Favorite Shampoo/Conditioner?: ...

50. Fave guys cologne?: ...

51. What kind of car do you drive?: golf car...t....whatever

52. What is your favorite thing to do in the summer?: pull allnighters with my friends

53. Do you like to dance?: kinda..

54. What's your favorite Drink?: water

55. What's your favorite ALCOHOLIC drink?: Pi�a colada...with alcohol?

56. Are you too shy to ask someone out?: i'm too pessimistic to, if anything

57. If you could change your name, what would it be?: my name is the best!

59. Do you sleep naked?: holy fudge

60. Have you ever ran around naked?: yeah..but not in public..yet...

61. Have you ever been in love?: no

62. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done?: i don't think i have a stupidest. i always do stupid things.

63. What will your first son's name be?: lestat lol. no..like..stratton or draven or some gothical name like that

64. Pets?: yeah

65. Are your parents together or divorced?: divorced

66. Do you like scary or happy movies better?: scary

67. On the phone or in person?: person, phones are bad..

68. Night or day?: Night

69. Summer or winter?: summer. no school. f snow. it's no f'n school

70. Lust or Love?: neither

71. Kisses or hugs?: hugs

72. If you could go any where, where would it be?: an amusement park

73. Do you consider cheerleading a sport?: no, it's more of a..gay thing fruits do..

74. What's your favorite song?: the outsider..maybe..no no..sleeping beauty-a perfect circle

75. Have you ever had an online romance?: lol

76. What did you think of this survey?: long..

77. ||||||||||||||||||||

80. Now what are you going to do?: take a showa. i hope.

81. Ever been grounded?: yes

82. Britney or Christina?: neither..

83. BSB or N*SYNC?: neither..

84. Pop, Rock, Country, Classical, Oldies or Rap?: rock, REAL rock

85. Favorite Comedy Movie?: duno

86. Favorite Scary Movie?: dunoooo

87. Favorite Movie Quote?: i ish sick of this.

88. why do you fill these damn things out?: because at first..i'm bored. at first. then(like now) i get extremely annoyed

89. what is your overall favorite band?: tool

90. what is the most recent concert you went to?: how about the most recent i am GOING to...

HFSTIVALLLLL!!!!!!

anotha survie

05.08.04 (1:45 pm) [edit]

x. name = bianca

x. birthday = dec 6

x. piercings = bup de dup

x. tattoos = none yet

x. height = 5'6" ish

x. shoe size = 9

x. hair color = brownish black

x. length = mid back or longer...i duno

x. siblings = brandon, benj, and no name

x. pets = bo(dog), audrey(dog), chloe(cat), rabbits(9 or so), and fish(no names...)

do...

x. you have a bf or gf = no

x. you have a crush on someone = yes! chris. he's so hot. and rebelious. and...hot.

x. you wish you could live somewhere else = yesh. in a hut. on the beach.

x. you think about suicide = well now that all my friends are fucking suicidal! bitches

x. others find you attractive = i have no idea

x. you want more piercings = yesh..but..on my eyebrows..and lip..and stuff..not those fruity places..

x. you want more tattoos = yes. lol. if you have none, you can only get more. right?

x. you drink = sometimes

x. you do drugs = my lawyer advised me not to say anything on this subject..jk

x. you like cleaning = fudge no

x. you like roller coasters = fudge yes

x. you write in cursive or print = print

x. you carry a donor card = nope

for or against...

x. long distance relationships = whatever man

x. using someone = against

x. suicide = if you wanna die-f u

x. killing people = heh...uhh..depends on the situation

x. teenage smoking = what the fuck ever

x. premarital sex = for

x. driving drunk = totally against

x. gay/lesbian relationships = for

favorite...

x. food = salad..veggie dumplings..onion rings..chippies..

x. thing to do = listen to music, watch movies, go to concerts and coffee houses, hang out

x. thing to talk about = you name it, i'll say something about it.

x. sports = no idea

x. drinks = water, pi�a colada, coke. no pepsi.

x. clothes = hoodies. like my tool hoodie.

x. books = good ones!

x. holiday = whatever day i get off

x. cars = oldsmobiles or muscles! or..oldsmobile muscles.

have you...

x. ever cried over a girl or boy = blah blah

x. ever lied to someone = yep

x. ever been in a fist fight = yep

x. ever been arrested = .....

what...

x. shampoo do you use = whatever's in the shower

x. perfume/colonge do you use = ...wtf

x. shoes do you wear = vans and chucks

x. are you scared of = stupidity

number...

x. of times I have had my heart broken? = i duno

x. of hearts I have broken? = i duno

x. of boys I have kissed? = lol

x. of girls I have kissed? = none

x. of continents I have lived in? = 1

x. of drugs taken illegally? = .....

x. of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = 0

x. of people I consider my enemies? = 2349237520823948235723849 02394896738400239487 x infinity

x. of people from high school that I stayed in contact with? = ...

x. of cd's that I own? = not that many. i listen to music the almost legal way

x. of scars on my body? = a lot

x. of things in my past that I regret? = whatever..

survie

05.08.04 (1:34 pm) [edit]

[ name ]: bianca

[ nicknames ]: b, bonka, etc..

[ good student ]: yep..grade-wise

[ eyes ]: brown

[ hair ]: brownish black

[ shoe size ]: 9

Last time you...

[ had a nightmare ]: a couple days ago

[ said "i love you" and meant it ]: i duno

[ ate at mcdonald's ]: ......a LONG time ago

[ dyed your hair ]: a week ago or so

[ brushed your hair ]: yesterday..morning

[ Washed your hair ]: a couple days ago

[ checked your e-mail ]: i forgot

[ cried ]: i "cried" last night..when i put this eye wash in my eyes because they burned..and then it went into my ears

[ called someone ]: yesterday i believe

[ smiled ]: when daniel left

[ laughed ]: yesterday with daniel

Do you...

[ sleep with stuffed animals? ]: they're on my bed and i've always tried to but they keep falling and stuff..

[ have a dream that keeps coming back? ]: sometimes

[ play an instrument? ]: yep

[ believe there is life on other planets? ]: yes

[ remember your first love? ]: no

[ still love him/her? ]: no

[ read the newspaper? ]: no

[ have any straight friends? ]: yeah

[ consider love a mistake? ]: sometimes

[ like the taste of alcohol? ]: not really

[ believe in god? ]: no

[ go to church? ]: no

[ have any secrets? ]: i duno

[ have any pets? ]: yesh

[ talk to strangers who instant message you?]: i ask them who they are and then "curse them out" or say really big words to confuse them

[ wear hats? ]: not really

[ have any piercings? ]: yesh

[ have any tattoos? ]: not yet!

[ hate yourself? ]: not usually

[ have an obsession? ]: cheesey stuff

[ have a secret crush? ]: yeah, hiding it from myself. lol

[ collect anything? ]: everything

[ have a best friend? ]: i don't know!

[ like your handwriting? ]: i don't care

[ have any bad habits? ]: yep

[ care about looks? ]: kinda

[ boy/girlfriend's looks? ]: whatever, man

~* Current... *~

[ dress ]: dark blue shirt and orange shorts-who wears short shorts!

[ mood ]: frustrated a bit

[ music ]: ride-the vines

[ taste ]: saliva and fries

[ hair ]: no idea

[ annoyance ]: homework, the fact that i can't take a shower because my brother's friends are over, my brother...and his friends

[ smell ]: muffins..where the hell is that coming from?

[ thought ]: blahhhhh i wanna take a showaaa i'm dirty

[ book ]: queen of the damned

[ fingernail color ]: none

[Refreshment ]: water

[ worry ]: no worries

[ crush ]: the secret one!

[ Favorite Celebrity ]: johnny depp

Last person...

[ you touched ]: benj

[ talked to ]: mom

[ you hugged ]: ...........i duno

[ you yelled at ]: brandon

[ you had a crush on ]: i don't know

[ kissed ]: dude..

Who do you want to...

[ kill ]: no one in particular, not feeling homicidal at the moment

[ slap ]: ....i don't slap..i poke..with my fist

[ tickle ]: elmo!

[ talk to ]: bri or jacob

[ have sex with ] johnny depp!

[ kiss ]: johnnyyy depp

[ be like ]: bri! hahaha..hahahaha..inside joke..

HFStival

05.02.04 (11:06 am) [edit]

hehehehe i'm going to the HFStival! HAHAHAHAHA! i rock! you guys are suckers!
a lot of people are gonna hate me now. but that is okay! because I GET TO GO TO THE HFSTIVAL!

see today i was gonna get dad to buy the tickets for me..but when i checked the site the ticket thing was gone so i assumed that they were sold out and i was really sad for like and hour...and then i checked again on the same site but different computer and voila! it worked. this computer just sucks butt...
so then dad was all..wtf is all this general admission crap...and then he called cal and asked and cal was all oh there's no assigned seat and i was all cool..and then dad was all..cal has a ticket for you and i was all ohmgggggg ohmg ohmg oh my gnomes on drugs YES!
and i've pretty much been that happy every since.
YAY!!!! wow i'm happy. i must call bri and tell her! weeeee!!!

another thing...
i :heart: johnny depp. argh matee!

ew..i just like..trapped this bug in my keyboard. ew man. ew.

awww i love those hot topic babies. they are so cute. little punk posers! how corrupted their minds already are!

i should go try to do some homework..but i forgot my textbook(stupid me) so i can't really do crap because that was pretty much all my homework.

oooo well
i'll just think about how awesomely cool i am and how awesomely cool the HFStival is and how..I'M GOING!

livejournal

05.01.04 (5:29 pm) [edit]

today something was wrong with tblog so i made a live journal, which was even harder than making a blog.
so complicated...and i didn't even get to do that mood thing! because it's such a bitch! grrr. but it's really cool. my name on that is BurntLimbs. i wanted to make ArtificialTruth or something but some bitch took the name lol.
so then i made some other somethin truth name and..grr again! bitches!
then my dad IMed me and i called him and he told me my profile was very vulgar and disturbing. i didn't bother changing it. i don't care.
so now i'm trying to get ready for my dad to pick me up but i've pretty much lost all intention of doing so because i have nothing to do except my homework which is not very exciting.
bri's going somewhere and we can't hang out until the 15th because next weekend is mother's day and i'm stuck here. lol what a nice way to put it...
i guess i could call jacob later.
kristi and david are at their dad's flat.
kelly..i duno.
everyone else-..who are they? there's no one else!
wow..that's sad.
but i'm not sad. i'm not happy. i'm just existing, once again.
i do believe i should start packing.
oh yeah-i took a showa :D
aren't you so proud of me?

pepsi vs. coke

04.30.04 (12:14 pm) [edit]

okay. my decision is now and forever coke. pepsi sucks, it's too sweet, it's for prissy fucks.
why am i drinking it now? because that's the only soda in the house.
my beloved coke...i need you now.

being a stoned loser

04.29.04 (5:27 pm) [edit]

just finished reading the vampire lestat. yes, by anne rice. screw anyone who disparages her. i believe i've said this before-but i'll say it again. she is an exquisite writer. her work consists of fiction and philosophy put in the form of amazing writing. you just have to know where to separate the two. okay? okay. i've said it. need i explain more?
i do despise people at my school, especially in my english class. so ignorant, those people. they know nothing of good literature. they also have extremely poor grammar and sentence structure. their words are very bland, too. if they can even spell them correctly...
i like reading.
i don't take the english language for granted. maybe other languages, but not this language. i suppose i'd like to learn other languages-so i won't take them for granted either-but as for now i'm going to stick to english. i'm in america..am i not?
i do wish more people read as much as i do. it improves grammar and gives knowledge.
of course, i only like reading books that interest me.

and people think i'm a stoned loser who knows nothing...

depressing poems

04.27.04 (6:34 pm) [edit]

Depressing poems
Why must there be such a thing?
Such sadness, such angst
And for what reason?
Some to vent, others for amusement
I despise it so
It leads to suicides and murder
What good comes out of it?
None
Just keep it all in your corrupted mind
No one wants to hear it
No one wants to feel bad for you
Like you want them to
You are stupid
You are one of those people just over populating the earth
Go do what you want to do
Find out if there is a god and then kill it
For treating you so �badly�
And curse and spit on its remains
Like I�d like to do to you
Depressing poems
Worthless words on wasted paper

envy

04.25.04 (7:30 pm) [edit]

ugh, right now i pretty much envy everyone and anyone i do not know or did not know before tonight.
i just noticed how sucky my friends are. especially jacob.
well noticed before because of the completely pointless controversy going on at the party...but now i notice because i was just at jakey's with his bandmates and they rock fucking ass. mary just seems really cool and ever since i met her pretty much as been. mickey reminds me of jacob-a LOT. like he looks like him and acts like him and kinda talks like him. but this one is cuter and less fruity. no offense to jacob, i love him. shh don't tell him though. i usually don't think on it much and say i don't but deep down inside, i really do. just as a friend though. because whether he likes it or not he's a good friend. better than most. but anyway...
mickey or whatever..he's so cool. i envy jakey for having these friends.
and now jacob and i are fighting because he wants to hang out with me next weekend in the city with complete strangers and i don't want to go to the city with complete strangers. and now he's sending me on a guilt trip and making me apologize and he's being a total asswipe about it and i don't want to get in another fight so i just want him to fucking burn alive. ugh. i hate him.
see? this is why i think my friends are so sucky.
anyway...
on bri's first day at work she made $24 bucks and got a $20 tip which was almost what she made.
jakey's going to the hfstival, his dad bought like 6 tickets and i'm trying to get him to buy one more for me.
jakey's taking his not so sucky friends.
bri's mom is taking her because they're both in love with the cure.
my dad hates the cure-they sound whiney to him. like all these new punk bands...
i don't think the cure sounds whiney.
at least he likes the violent femmes..so if anything that would be a reason for me to go
and bri's mom has connections so she's probably gonna get free tickets. she "knows people" as bri says.
i got my guitar fixed today
thank you gnomes on drugs
i wanna try to go to the a perfect circle concert on may 2nd which is next sunday
and i might have to skip school on monday for it
but i duno
go late maybe? that won't hurt much
wtf...jacob just called me bi..where the hell is he getting this from?
well i'm tired and might have to wake up early
laters

annoyance

04.24.04 (12:56 pm) [edit]

life is an annoyance. i want everyone to burn alive. i want everything to spontaneously combust. i hate this.
part 1 of the annoyance:
i had to pack and clean my room and change clothes in twenty minutes and my parental unit in which i reside with made me get all the junk out of the car instead.
part 2 of annoyance:
vanessa is a conceited fuck is totally unaware of it and cannot form a sentence without annoying me. she also has tendencies to annoy me in the car when she puts the fucking back of her fucking hand to her fucking face, i want to saw it off and tell her to stop fuckign covering her eyes when she is driving!
part 3 of annoyance:
my father and vanessa always bug me about not eating meat and "not eating vegetables" like..they always, ALWAYS bring it up and it really annoys me. they bring it up randomly also! that doesn't annoy me, that just pisses me off so fucking much. so the last time they did that, a couple minutes ago, i blew my fucking lid. i started telling them how i knew they knew that they were pissing me off and making fun of me. and then my dad tells me he just wants me to eat vegetables. WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT MORON! I DO! he doesn't examine me every waking hour of the day, and neither does vanessa. in fact-they only see me two days a week if not less. so how the hell are they going to know if i eat vegetables or not? dumbasses! so i ran out screaming i ate my goddamned vegetables and they are imbeciles! and then when i got into this cool enclosed space i started screaming fuck you. i hope they heard. i hope the fucking heard and i hope they fucking rot.
i hate them, i hate annoyances, i hope they burn fucking alive!
part 4 of annoyance:
this guy keeps IMing me and quoting foamy and begley as if i don't know who they are and i never heard these quotes before. well yes i fucking have, straight from fucking them so go to hell person! i also told him it is not funny to repeat quotes multiple times consistently to people who have already seen the episodes and it is of his knowledge. you only do this to people who DO NOT know in order to attempt to make them laugh or something. god dammit!

everyone who annoys me can just fucking burn alive, spontaneously combust, or rot!